Taming Childhood aggression: What can we do about it?
August 10, 2021
Meltdowns can cause misery for the child and everyone around this child. The good news is that adults can take charge and get support to manage aggressive behaviour in ways that are effective without being shaming.
Taming the anger monster in our children is a process, often like a marathon and definitely not a sprint to the line. Whether children hit or bite because they are angry or for reasons you just don't understand, aggressive behaviour can be a normal part of child development, especially between the ages of three and nine.
Sometimes toddlers are aggressive because they lack the verbal skills to get their needs across. A child who cannot say, "Don't do that," when their sibling takes a toy out of their hands may hit or bite to express their disapproval.
If children have a tendency towards this kind of aggressive behaviour, it’s up to you to help them develop judgement, self-discipline and the ability to express their feeling in appropriate ways. The good news is that as aggressiveness can be learnt so can calmness. We can follow and reinforce some very basic strategies to help educators and parents develop the ability within our children to stay and become calm from a very young age.
- Lead by example
. Children need someone to look up to and learn from. Parents primary role is to lead by example, modelling the kind of behaviour that you would like your child to adopt. A value system is important.
- Let your child continue being a child
. A toddler is all about testing boundaries. This is the way they explore and come into their own. However, when your children are throwing tantrums or exhibiting other destructive behaviour, it is easy to forget that you are dealing with a child and that they don’t have the wisdom to model good behaviour. Therefore, allow yourself a moment and your child to be a child. However, explain to them why their reactions are not appropriate and inform them of the alternative.
- Teaching your children to acknowledge early warning signs of aggressiveness
. Developing an awareness of early warning signs in a child is vital to success in this process of taming anger. Explain that we all have these little signs that tell us we are fast becoming angry, like maybe talking louder, getting flushed or clenching the fists. There are different signs for different people. Making your child aware will teach them to recognize and act accordingly.
- Teach your children to rethink their emotion
. Parents can start by helping children understand how their emotions work. Help children to label their feelings from an early stage in life and how to manage the big waves that flood them from time to time, both in anger and in joy.
- Age-appropriate techniques to tame anger
. Kids need to know appropriate ways to deal with their anger. Instead of being told, “Don’t hit your brother,” explain what they can do when they feel frustrated. Say, "Next time, use your words" or "Walk away from him when you feel angry."
- Praise nonaggressive behaviours
. Reduce your child's aggression by setting expectations for appropriate behaviour, providing clear and consistent consequences, and praising nonaggressive behaviours.
- Have consequences for misbehaviour
. As much as possible, parents are encouraged to stay consistent in discipline. If your child is aggressive toward another child, provide immediate consequences. Eventually the child will associate the negative consequence with the aggression. Parents can minimize aggressive behaviour with a few techniques that include:
* By staying calm,
* Minimizing situations that can flair up in misbehaviour,
* Avoiding negotiation (don't argue or explain too much),
* Helping your child problem solve solutions in conflict situations,
* Expressing and having open communication, telling them why it is not suitable to use bad language but rather positive language,
* Making your expectations for behaviour clear.
Parenting childhood aggression is protecting them from any physical trauma, and considering their mental and psychological well-being. If your child has frequent outbursts daily for several days or weeks, or is causing physical injury to himself or others, or is being sent home by friends or the school, contact your paediatrician immediately.
O ther than that, parenting childhood aggression is part of the developmental process and most children are able to learn how to manage their anger and frustration. It may require a little patience from you, but in the end, it will be all worth it!
Every Student learns differently! Think about it like this; In the real world, we customize our coffee orders, hairstyles, our music playlists, and occasionally take our own clothes to the tailor to get a perfect fit in line with our our tastes. All this is done to provide the best customer service as well as for the customer to cherish it. So, why should our children’s educational journeys be treated differently? From time immemorial until now, the education system has evolved drastically from the former traditional teaching where the teacher was ‘ Mr. I know it All , where learners were just like passive passengers on an intellectual train to the current modern approach known as Personalized Learning. When put together, Personalized Learning’ means teachers provide targeted learning towards each student’s unique learning needs, interests, learning styles and modify their experiences. Personalized Learning ensures every lesson is resourceful, relevant and engaging with all students, which helps them grasp concepts taught more effectively leaving them with a touch of confidence in themselves. How Do Personalized Learning Approaches Support Different Learning Styles and Learner Progress? As educators at Gaborone International School, we understand that learning how our learners process information is not just beneficial to them, but it is a crucial part of our work to become excellent at our jobs and in ensuring every student succeeds in their academic journey. At GIS, we adopt these fou r famous and common learning styles for our learners: 1. Visual Learners These are learners who understand and remember things best when they see them. Thus, as teachers at GIS, we make use of PowerPoint Presentations, use information in diagrammatic form, images/pictures and videos while teaching our students. Our growing innovative techniques with digital equipment; for example, making use of projectors and iPads with learners has proven very helpful to these specific learners. 2. Auditory Learners : These learn best by hearing information and they remember spoken words. For these students, we make use of assigning group tasks to certain subtopics in a topic/question and once a set time is over, we push for students to teach it /explain it to the whole class (peer teaching). Additionally, rather than the teacher delivering all the information, learners are given a chance to collaborate with each other, and this makes them retain concepts taught easily. 3. Kinesthetic Learners: These learners enjoy hands-on activities, they learn quicker by doing & moving or changing seating positions. DIY Ferris Wheels by Std 3 Learners during a Robotics lesson As teachers, we try to make this possible as they engage in different specialist subjects. For example, However, we can make these learners get involved as we take them to the labs, Music, Art, PE and making use of buildings blocks/models. This way, learners can 10 channel their energy productively without disrupting their concentration span. 4. Reading /Writing Learners: These are learners who understand better when they read and write things down. This one is a classic traditional style where students write notes during class, read out loud what is on the board, and they love reading articles. In the Lower Primary school, particularly Standard 1 to 3, our Guided Readers program takes care of such learners. By adding all these techniques to how we teach learners, it has helped us to answer a lot of questions our parents had and remove anxieties as they drop off their children at school each day. This makes them confident that their children are treated as individuals with unique talents and goals and are given room to thrive in a system that values them more and allows self-advocacy and the best to come out of them.
A message from the Deputy Principal: Hillary Siandula
It is the outcome of a carefully designed ecosystem that supports learners every day.
